A little known fact about me is that I do not get stressed.
WHAT?? A PRE-MED STUDENT AT UCLA WHO IS NOT CRIPPLED BY THE DIFFICULT CLASSES, COMPETITIVE EXTRACURRICULARS, AND CONSTANT PRESSURE OF GETTING INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL?? IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE??
Well, there are always exceptions, so... congrats! You managed to find me and my secret. It's true, I typically do not feel the pressures of my academics, others' expectations, or even my career goals. I am not sure if this has always been true or if I reached my maximum stress level sometime during my sophomore year of high school and have since been unfazed by factors that would cause stress to most people. Either way, beyond the occasional test anxiety before an important exam or a slight panic when grades are being released, I'd say my mind is a relatively stress-free zone.
"Wow! That must mean she is happy all the time!" you may say.
Well, not quite. I am not happy or sad most of the time, just floating somewhere in the neutral range. Some describe the glass as half full. Others perceive it to be half empty. I say it's a glass of water. A realist is probably the best way to describe me.
Given this information, it is safe to say that happiness does not come very naturally to me. It is something that I need to actively work on everyday to develop. Being mostly neutral makes it difficult for failures and rejections to have a significant impact on my state of mind. However, I do want to strive for a positive, optimistic mindset, so how am I working towards this goal? Keep reading and I'll let you in on a few practices that bring happiness into my life.
A word of caution before we dive in:
We are now almost a year into the pandemic (328 days since school shut down to be exact), so this attitude of indifference is largely a result of being at home without much social interaction. I can count the number of times I have seen my friends since March 13 on two hands, so one of my main sources of happiness has not been consistent in my life over the past year. Under normal circumstances, I probably would not have to work as much to ensure my happiness, but since these are "unprecedented times" it is important to put just a little more effort into maintaining your wellbeing if possible. Times are tough, so make sure to be patient with yourself!
Tips to Cultivate Happiness:
1. An Organized Space = An Organized Mind
When I am flooded with assignments and
due dates, I inevitably find papers and notebooks stacked on my desk, post-it notes barely hanging on my walls, and the dreaded pile of clothes on the floor. For me, this space is not conducive to learning or working. I have a looming clutter of tasks in my mind that get more and more daunting as more and more papers stack up. Taking the time to clean my workspace allows me to organize my tasks while improving the overall look of my room so that I am enticed to spend time in a clean and productive environment.
The phrase "fake it 'til you make it" works for me in this situation. If I just put my half-finished homework in a folder and out of my sight, even if it is just to bring it back a few hours later, I feel like I have my life together. Organizing my space allows me to have control over factors in my life that may otherwise overwhelm me, leading to a happier Stuti.
I am also notorious for having hundreds of tabs open on my laptop at the same time, so making a checklist to detail my assignments instead of leaving tabs open in hopes that I will "get to it at some point" has become a necessity in my life. (The satisfaction from being able to check items off the list is a great added bonus.)
2. Listen to Uplifting Music
This one is tough. Trust me, I enjoy sad, emotional songs as much as anyone, and when you are in the right headspace, there is nothing wrong with listening to some Lewis Capaldi. However, I prefer to listen to slightly more upbeat music when I am trying to start off my day positively. My music taste is essentially non-existent, so I mostly resort to Spotify's playlists or Bollywood dance music as that always raises my energy.
3. Nothing Beats a Nice Hot Shower
Selfcare plays a significant role in happiness. I love doing random acts of kindness for others, but its important to send some kindness your way as well. Ever since I was young, I have enjoyed long showers. I used to get in trouble quite a bit for wasting too much water, but I think I have managed to find a balance between being eco-friendly and getting enough time to relax and forget about the rest of the world.
Many people practice mindfulness regularly and while I would love to incorporate it into my schedule, I have yet to be successful. Instead, I try to be mindful in the shower, restricting my thoughts to only what is between the shower curtain and the wall. On the chance that I play some songs to sing along to, I know I am off to a great day.
4. Be Proud of Yourself
I am my own biggest critic. I am often disappointed with myself when I am not as productive as I believe I could have been or when I feel like I have failed in some way. While it has not been easy, I try to think of just 1 thing that I am proud of myself for doing that day. It could be as simple as making myself a breakfast I enjoy or finishing just one task from my checklist.
At first, I felt embarrassed for trying to be proud of myself when I had barely accomplished
anything that day. Nevertheless, being in quarantine, going through countless Zoom meetings, and following the same monotonous routine everyday has made it more difficult for me to remain motivated and excited to do school work, exercise, cook, you name it. Therefore, I think it is important to give yourself a pat on the back at the end of the day just to reaffirm that you did a good job and empower yourself to try again tomorrow.
5. Doing Things You Love for Those You Love
Everyone always says giving back is great because you are able to help someone and it makes you happy in the process. However, I do not think I truly understood this until a few months into the lockdown. I was exploring a few new hobbies, and I tried to see if I could incorporate them into gifts for my friends. Whether is was baking cupcakes, making key chains, or crafting Origami cards, being able to spend time doing fun activities and seeing the smile on my friends' faces when they received them instantly made my day. There is a very unique happiness that comes from caring about others and it is one that even social distancing cannot limit, so take this as your sign to go bake some cookies for your friends!
Even with these tips, I can't say that I am happy all the time. Happiness is tough to achieve, especially with all of the current circumstances, so take a deep breath, give yourself a little hug, and try to make the most out of your day. Even if you are not satisfied at the end, remember, there is always tomorrow.
I'm rooting for us.
First of all, I cannot believe you do not get stressed. As an insufferable, wildly emotional control freak, I get stressed by any uncertainty in my life. I love your perspective of life and the idea of being patient with yourself. In one of my recent rabbit holes, I looked into the idea of Feng Shui and how to create good Feng Shui in your home. So, reading your little tidbit on organization really resonated. I also hands down agree that music is a way to happiness. Music is so therapeutic as sometimes I listen to sad songs to get a good cry out and feel that emotion of sadness or listen to happy, upbeat songs and feel good. I…
I totally relate to this "mostly neutral" stance on life. I feel like especially during the pandemic, as you mentioned, losing out on so many rites of passage, experiences, and constantly living in tragedy has made us particularly numb (kinda like gen z zombies ahaha). I'm very glad that you don't get stressed, because that is my default state so we can balance each other out! I can't wait to listen to upbeat music and bake cupcakes together when we're finally on campus and get to hang out.
I agree that maintaining an organized space is essential to cultivating happiness! Especially in these times of online classes, compartmentalizing is the key to creating a distinction between school and other activities—so we can stay sane in the process. I also find it really impressive that you don’t get stressed! We could all use a little bit of that perspective for sure.
-Lauryn Wang